BA ZI GA bazinger (Sheldon Cooper)

I want to shout it out ......

I HAVE FINISHED CHEMO


I have returned from the hospital and completed 6 cycles of FEC chemotherapy and didn't even come close to wetting myself today!(read the end of the previous post).This is because I thought I was having an internal scan today and not an external one, so I'm a complete numpty and got my wires crossed. I could have saved the anxiety and slept well last night.

I attended radiotherapy at 9am and then returned back to the hospital at 13:30 - its been a long day and I'm pooped. BUT I'VE FINISHED.

I managed the first 4 cycles at 100% dose (I swear I don't know how)and then #5 and #6 on a 75% reduced dose.

Did you know there are 50 different types of chemotherapy drugs?

It has been the longest 6 months EVER, starting with the diagnosis on the last day of September 2013, fertility treatment in November 2013 and 5 months from December to date attending the Lingen Davies Centre for a cocktail of nastiness. The 9 days in hospital with bilateral pneumonia exacerbated the process and has prolonged and delayed treatment by 4 weeks. 

When I was in hospital and moved onto the respiratory ward, I met a 45 year old woman who had been to her doctors for 18 months complaining of problems with her chest/lungs. The day before I became her next door neighbour and partner in crime, she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. We talked and the only advice I gave her was to "kick its butt and never give up, stay positive, because as soon as you mentally give up, your body will too". She was making a bucket list and looking to go abroad, which she had only done once before on the tobacco run in the back of a van (this made me laugh).I was really looking forward to catching up with her at the Severn Hospice. Sadly she didn't manage to travel abroad.There is always someone worse off than yourself:( 

Which brings me to Stephen Sutton. I am getting choked up @emotional wreck. There aren't anymore words that haven't been written Stephen. You are an inspiration. 

http://www.stephensstory.co.uk/

https://www.justgiving.com/Stephen-Sutton-TCT

I forgot this when I went onto the ward, my memory  is crap. 

The 15th of May 2014 marks the end of the last cycle and I told my employer that I'd be back to work on the 19th of May (a little over ambitious). After a referral to Occupational Health I was advised to consider going back end of June/July. I was told that most people in my situation she had seen have had at least a year off work and she said that they had not got through as much as I had. She said that I shouldn't push myself and that radiotherapy can be both mentally and physically exhausting. In fairness most people do say radiotherapy is exhausting and again this could be because of the accumulation of chemotherapy drugs and being zapped daily. The other issue is driving longer distances as my seatbelt will cut straight across the targeted area which will already be sore. 

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertreatment/Treatmenttypes/Radiotherapy/Sideeffects/General.aspx

http://www.royalmarsden.nhs.uk/cancer-information/treatment/radiotherapy/pages/side-effects.aspx

http://www.royalmarsden.nhs.uk/cancer-information/treatment/radiotherapy/pages/after.aspx

I certainly won't miss peeing red or being so constipated I've been seriously close to passing out.

http://cancerchat.cancerresearchuk.org/message/51351

I can start living my life outside of `chemo' cycles and be able to go out without checking dates and the calender. I can return the yellow sharps box back to the hospital.I no longer need to keep Filgrastim in the fridge (after this week) or expect my husband to inject me take steroids which make you feel Urgh. 

I hope that someday I will no longer feel sick when associating certain foods with chemotherapy. I hope to be able to drink tea again or eat casserole without gagging.

I look forward to not having my bloods taken or having a cannula fitted. I have developed an unhealthy fear of having a cannula inserted. I have to continue to remember never to have injections or bloods from my right arm or a tattoo due to the increase of lymphodema. And avoid any scratches, burns or cuts to my right arm/hand.

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Documents/Cancerinfo/Livingwithandaftercancer/Lymphoedematoptips.pdf

I have to accept that the chemotherapy may/will/more than likely force my body into an early menopause and that maybe the hot flushes are not down to the steroids. I'd like to think it won't happen at 39 BUT my breast cancer nurse said it would happen and she also said I would lose my hair (so who am I to argue?). I'm armed and ready and bought a kitsch hand held fan.

http://www.lbbc.org/Learn-About-Breast-Cancer/Early-Menopause-From-Breast-Cancer-Treatment#

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertypes/Breastsecondary/Livingwithsecondarybreastcancer/Earlymenopauseandmenopausalsymptoms.aspx

http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-help/about-cancer/cancer-questions/menopause-symptoms-after-chemotherapy

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Livingwithandaftercancer/Symptomssideeffects/Fertility/Fertilityinwomen/Fertilityinwomen.aspx

scroll down and keep reading

I am a Chemo Ninja.

So goodbye Mr Chemo, no christmas card for you this year and hello Mr Rads.

My oncologist told me that I am having daily general radiotherapy around the right breast area for 3 weeks (Monday to Friday) and then a further 1.5 daily targeted treatment to the scar line (this is called a booster). I start on the 19th of May (exactly three weeks after my last cycle as planned). I've been given my schedule but only shows a months worth of dates, so I need to get some clarification to whether its actually 4 weeks or 4 and half.

So at 9am this morning I discussed the next steps in the process and skin care. I was advised to wear loose clothing, something that's easy to take off, no deodorant and use aqueous cream. I explained that my mum had given me an aloe vera plant, so I would also be using it due to its natural soothing content. The girl looked puzzled and rushed off to speak to the radiologist because she wasn't sure if I could use it. She came back and said "can you bring it in with you". I replied "It's a plant, you want me to bring a plant in?".

Even more confused she went in search of the radiologist one more time and returned, saying that people in Australia are given individual aloe vera plants as part of their treatment.

I was measured up for the radiotherapy beam and had to contort my body into a strange position in the CT scanner, with my arms in raised handles. I haven't read Fifty Shades of Grey, but I can but imagine, this being from a S&M scene, which of course I shared with the girls sorting me out! I am now a proud owner of two small black NHS tattooed dots,so that the beam can hit the target area every time without any deviation.

Onwards and Upwards 

Love Tam x 

*P.s

http://fecthis.wordpress.com/side-effects/

You may have wondered why some people are hooked up to infusion machines all day at the chemotherapy day centre and others have their chemo drugs syringed into the cannula. This is because people are having a reduced dosage of chemotherapy drugs which are infused with saline and are drip fed through over a period of hours/day. The treatment recommended for breast cancer is more aggressive and not diluted so it is directly administered by the nurse.

I have spoken with my Breast Cancer Nurse this morning (BCN). She's advised me that she was not happy about the timeline I'd proposed to return to work and she would write a letter to support this. BLAH blah blah .... She also said that I may need to rethink booking a holiday after treatment as she said I really won't have the energy to do much (so Crete, Kefalonia, Sardinia or Portugal are on the back burner for a while, thinking more long weekend in wales, possibly with our new dog by then).

She said people are emotionally screwed when treatment comes to an end and have time to think about what they've been through and worry about it coming back. I want to return to work and unfortunately money does not grow on trees. I feel the chat with Occupational Health and the proposed implementation of the phased return to work on reduced hours is ideal and sensible and do able. I can't let cancer rule my life anymore, it's taken up a lot of my time. It sucks, it's shit, address it and move on. I may have a blip further done the line, whether it be recurrence of the little shit, or that my head may explode. I'll deal with it. As I said onwards and upwards. In the last couple of weeks I've even relaxed about hoovering/cleaning and my husband is right there are more important things in life than having an OCD wife who likes the property to be clean.

After all I am here x

If it had not been for early detection, particularly on an aggressive grade 3 cancer it may have been a completely story.

So go on your buggers, go and check your wobbly bits, it may save your life 

xx

FEC #5

Monday 31st March 2014

The Penultimate

I got to pick my seat today, a window seat...this is how I roll.......

Almost mopped up all the rogue Cancer cells

This is why I had a sleepless night last night, still awake at 04:10 am and all down to the cannula
I don't know why I worried so much, I could hardly feel it. Thank you chemo nurse Caroline.

If you look closely all my nails are striped 

Out with the old

and in with the new

The quiet before the storm

Dear Diary

Last FEC #4  Thursday 13th February - 6th of March (FEC 4 Cycle)

Hospital admission Tuesday 4th of March

Discharged Thursday 13th of March

Next FEC chemo cycle # 5 Monday 31st of March - reduced dose from 100% down to 75%


*
My Oncologist postponed my next treatment by 3 weeks(a whole cycle behind)to ensure that my body had recovered from the IV antibiotics and hospital stay. 

No evil drugs killing off the healthy cells in your body for 3 weeks and a mini break mentally = appearance of hair (collar & cuffs).

Which is a temporary addition as the E in FEC is making a come back on Monday. For future reference, I'm happy that it appears to grow fast.

*
I went to the GP's this week. He said `I suspect this isn't a life choice, I mean you haven't been out and bought a pair of Doctor Martins have you?' (after taking off my woolly hat). I was glad to see a Doctor with a sense of humour and able to register how far he could push it. 

Anyway I went to discuss my rash, the one I was discharged from hospital with. The GP suspects it is a reaction to the IV antibiotics. So lets compile a list of the things I'm allergic too ......It appears to be growing.

I also asked for medication for the reduction of keloid scarring for my booby and some heavy duty cream for my evil little `friends' that appear through times of constipation and diarrhoea.

* 
The pharmacist said that due to manufacturers delay she would not be able to complete my prescription today. She asked me if it was urgent. I lovingly told her that I had a lumpectomy in October and that the cream was to reduce the raised keloid scarring. At some point during `my moment' I realised she actually meant the cream for my little friends. 

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/skin/Pages/Keloidscarring.aspx

Let me introduce to you, my keloid scar, a waving Snowman. I had chicken pox (poulet pox) at 15 on the French Exchange and ended up being on house arrest, bathing in soothing medication and having a thermometer inserted into my bum (and missed all the parties).

AND then the chicken pox scar grew .


*
I reluctantly registered with the DWP for a Personal Independent Payment but discovered that they have an incorrect date of birth for me and now it's up to me to prove to them that I am right. I am not well enough at the moment to be faffing around with producing a birth certificate, so the claim has been pulled. Bit ironic really as PIPs is the replacement of Disability Living Allowance and in place for people that often struggle with daily living activities and mobility. 

*
I went to have my bloods taken today to ensure my immune system is ready for the onslaught on Monday and I have cording of the veins, this is where the veins feel hard and `cord' like, the veins lose their elasticity and feel tight, which makes your treatment arm sore, like you've had a couple of Chinese burns, the E out of the FEC ruins/damages the veins (Mr E is quite a twisted piece of work). My veins will gradually return to normal in the future.
I have had this for a while, but the nurse clearly noticed it today, in trying to bleed me dry.


*****
For anyone that missed this programme on BBC 3 please follow this link:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b03zf3tg/Kris_Dying_to_Live/

It's available to watch until Wednesday 2nd of April.

and then you can watch this thank you from Kris founder of Coppafeel #RETHINKCANCER

http://vimeo.com/90325680

http://coppafeel.org/

♥

Temperature

A normal temperature is around 37C (98.6F)

What I failed to mention was that my temperature has been between 38-39.9 C on occasions over the last week and it wasn't until we purchased another thermometer that I started to take it seriously. So the bad arse in the ear thermometer is clearly giving some freaky kinda shit reading and the new under the armpit - a more realistic reading. 

I have to inform the oncologist line if my temperature hits 37.5C

On Friday at 16:30, after no longer being able to ignore that I needed to go to hospital I called the oncology helpline - Shropdoc - with a temperature of 38.2. I was told to make my way up to AMU and was given a side room. I had my blood pressure checked and was running a temperature of 38.6c. I had my bloods taken and almost passed out, blood/sugar test,  (all clear, NO neuropathy) cannula fitted and antibiotics run through followed by a saline solution. 

I felt very chesty and was given a chest x ray only to discover that there is shadowing on the lower left lung and to take some hard core antibiotics twice a day for the next 7 days. 

I am now so breathy that I am hyperventilating just mobilising from the sofa to the toilet or from the bed to the living room. Not being able to breathe is really fricking scary.

We managed to get discharged at 23:00

Saturday and Sunday night consisted of a temperature higher than when I was admitted to hospital, hubby gave me paracetamol and made me sweat out the heat. I'm not going to lie, I didn't think I was going to make it at one point - I know this sounds melodramatic, but believe me when your husband is helping you with the most basic of things and you see the dread in his face and the person you seen in the mirror is a bald headed sweaty mess who can hardly breathe .... (all I can say is that if I still smoked I have no doubt that I would not be here).

So this morning I managed to walk to see my GP accompanied by my husband who was supporting me and subjected to walking at a snails pace to see if there was anything they could prescribe to bring my temperature down.

I also called the Chemotherapy day centre and explained that there was no way my body would be able to cope with a cycle just yet. They agreed that I need to finish my course of antibiotics and so FEC#5 has been delayed until next Friday and I'm off to see my oncologist this Thursday to discuss my side effects and how we can manage them better :)

FEC # 4 cycle - Thursday 27th of February 2014

I have 6 days until my next cycle and this cycle has been an absolute horror. FACT

Chemotherapy has an accumulative effect and boy is it accumulating!

I have been evil personified this cycle and not the easiest person to be around.

I have NEVER experienced pain and the agony of faecal impaction like I have this cycle (and I thought last time was bad enough)and I was close to passing out on more than one occasion. I have accepted that this is part of having FEC administered. It's clearly very difficult to get a happy balance using lactulose, Movocol and Senokat/Prune juice to produce the perfect bowel movement.

I have also had the added bonus this cycle of strange thoughts, my mind has been playing tricks on me and I can't really give you an example, because it wouldn't make any sense and in reality you would think I've gone slightly bonkers. It took a couple of days to figure out that the thoughts I was having were non nonsensical. Whether this was down to taking Emend, the Rolls Royce of anti sickness tablets or not, I'm unsure. But I will not be taking them again.

I have been on the Macmillan website and asked if anyone else had experienced these thoughts and I have been informed that this is chemo brain - where you feel 'a bit fragmented like jigsaw pieces not fitting together' and could be down to the steroids.

My energy levels are currently running at zero % and my eyes are really sore, warm and irritable as I have few eyelashes left. I have mouth ulcers and generally pretty run down.

Roll on next Thursday at 14:30 for # 5 - Not because I want to experience all of the above so soon, but I will be a step closer to finishing chemotherapy.

Hump Day - I'm feeling better

Hump Day

I've just got out of bed after two days. I've had muscle and neck aches and aches down the both sides of my body and feeling like the light switch has been dimmed. I couldn't eat and I couldn't drink, which did not help with the sore throat and soreness to the roof of my mouth. I feel like I've spent the last two days in and out of consciousness! 

I've woken up this morning feeling out of sorts but much much better and realised that I may have been hallucinating or certainly that my mind has been playing tricks on me. 

The sun was shining and I managed to have a shower and walk to the quarry. The walk was slow and I took baby steps to get there and at one point was worried how I'd get back.



I've now managed to eat and drinking water water and more water and hopefully back on track :)

FEC # 4 February 13th 2014

FEC # 4 

It feels like a while since I've posted to my blog.  I've been researching my family history on Ancestry.co.uk with my 14 day free trial. I love genealogy and I started to put together our family history in 2007. I've been cross referencing to the site to the National Archives records, local churches and parishes. Its been a pleasant distraction and something I have been able to comfortably concentrate on.

Concentration is allusive at the best of times at present. I have so many projects I thought I'd be able to attempt or complete but NO - It is not happening and I'm not going to beat myself up over it. 

I recently posted a Triple Negative Infographic to my Facebook Profile, but for those of you independently reading this, here are two links to this information and current research.

http://www.breakthrough.org.uk/research/treatment/targeting-hard-treat-breast-cancers

http://www.breakthrough.org.uk/news/all-news/triple-negative-breast-cancer-facts

I watched up to series three of Breaking Bad, but found it a bit heavy at the moment.

I had an appointment with my oncologist on Thursday 6th of February (accompanied by my heavily pregnant sister) and I discussed that my hand, wrist and veins were tender, sore and aching. My veins have hardened and this tends to happen during treatment. I was given some Emend anti sickness tablets (The Rolls Royce of anti sickness tablets) and went to the hospital pharmacy to hand in my prescription and collect. The Pharmacist called me in whilst my head was down and rummaging in my handbag. After she called me MR,  I turned my head to my sister and gave her a sideways glance and my sister instantly knew she was going to get it. The Pharmacist was extremely apologetic and went a lovely shade of red. I may be bald, BUT I do not look like a man.

Within the week I will become an Auntie for the first time - E X C I T E D

Hubster and I went to the Birmingham Art Gallery and Museum the Saturday before my fourth cycle
http://www.bmag.org.uk/ and ate an all you can eat buffet on New Street for £5.00 to which my body was screaming "how can you overload me with that much bad fat",  I felt seriously bad about eating it and then went to the Nags to meet a friend and watch the rugby. We were home by ten and that was the extent of my socialising at night during this cycle. I feel that my energy levels are depleting.

My mum picked me up for FEC cycle #4 and I as I jumped in the car said " I'm so bored of this now". I have had enough, It's draining, it makes me feel like shit, I have no energy, I feel constantly sick for a week and yet I only have two cycles to go and then 3 weeks of daily radiotherapy. My teeth hurt and I think it's because I am constantly clenching my jaws.

We would love a holiday after this to relax and recoup - but have no end date to treatment. 

My last chemotherapy is the 27th of March and then my final and last chemo cycle finishes on 17th of April and I hope to return to work on reduced hours the week after. I have my Look Good Feel Better workshop on the 22 April from 2-4pm and then my 6 month check up with my specialist and surgeon at PRH Hospital on the 30th of April.

I have expressed to work that radiotherapy may leave me completely pooped ( this will start 3-6 weeks after chemotherapy finishes).  I have been told by my breast cancer specialist nurse that most people are able to work around daily radiotherapy but can leave you drained and knackered and sore from the radiation rays zapping your skin. Radiotherapy will be at RSH. I will return to this in my blog when I have some dates available.

Mum and I arrived at the Lingen Davies Centre at 11:30 -  ready for round 4
And so the vein which has been used for FEC # 1/2/3 is now so sore and tender that #4 had to be administered on the side of my hand - the nurse decided to administer into this side vein after I jumped into the middle of next week when she lightly touched the last injection site. It was not a pleasant experience.

The nurses on the day centre chemotherapy ward that I have spoken to, have no idea what The Hamar centre are able to offer in relation to services for people receiving cancer treatment and I have now been able to tell two nurses about The Little Princess Trust and the donation of human hair to provide a wig for a child affected by hair loss.

I am still wearing my cotton jersey cap in the house and in bed at night and was able to take it off in the car as it was nice and warm. I will be super happy when my hair grows back and I have a little more coverage, which will allow me to take my hats off permanently.

Incidentally the Rolls Royce of anti sickness tablets have had no effect :(

Back Seat Driver Selfie taken Saturday 15th of February 2014. 

See you soon 
Love Tam
xx

Update Post #3 Week 2

After writing my last post, I could stand it no more and walked to Mcdonalds and purchased two tasty cheeseburgers and chowed down on those darn pickled gherkins I'd been dreaming about before proceeding to my local public house for early evening beverages and catch up.

Even though I was drinking I was struggling with a very dry mouth, which makes talking quite tricky when your constantly circling your tongue around your mouth like a washing machine. I also put the Proclaimers on the jukebox, but that's another story. And two men kissed my head, certainly not what I was expecting ......

I am still experiencing a dry mouth to this day and a constant feeling of feeling sick when looking at certain foods. 

I can't look at a mint humbug without dry heaving and this is because I took them with me to the first two cycles to suck on whilst having my drugs syringed into the cannula. 

My weetabix has tasted of dogfood and all my food is currently being heavily laced with celery salt and pepper. The NO cheese in my diet has gone by the by this cycle as mature cheddar cheese has never tasted so good.

I've only been able to manage 1/2 cup of morning coffee and I'm only tolerating this in the hope that it will work alongside the x 3 Senokot I take each evening to assist with the sporadic bowel movements.

I can't stand the smell of smoke (sorry Hubster) and had to unplug the glade plug in, in the kitchen as again it has been causing dry retching.  

I am now in week two post 3rd cycle and therefore in social isolation until next Thursday. 

Yep, I am in hiding from all nasties and germs.

Then on Thursday, I'm off to the hospital to see my oncologist to shoot the shit.

On a positive note I was able to submit two assignments into my tutor this week and passed both. I have 3 more to complete and a final paper prior to booking a place on the practical element of the course. A small step closer to achieving the Advanced Foot Health Practitioner Diploma NCFE level 4 NQF. 

Next blood tests 12 February
Next cycle #4 13 February

Stay bright, stay positive *fists air*

Love Tam 
x

47,700 - 50,000 women and 300 men are diagnosed with BC every year in the UK

I had a lovely soak in the bath last night, a place I can light my candles, switch off the lights, play some music and RELAX. A place I can take off my cotton jersey sleep cap and dunk into hot water, although it is cold to the back of the head on the bath tub. 

On pulling the plug, I was still very surprised to how many hairs were in the bath and noticed that my eyelashes are now thinning on the top lashes, my eyebrows are still here, but these are likely to thin over the next couple of cycles.

I'm 5 days post FEC#3 and finished this cycles anti sickness tablets yesterday and still have 3 days left of 7am immune injections -
Nivestim/Filgrastim to go (administered day 2-8 post each cycle). In layman terms it makes more white blood cells in your lower back to counterbalance the healthy ones the chemo are killing off).

http://www.nivestim.eu/patient/nivestim-at-home/step-by-step.php

I have the upmost respect to anyone who has to inject themselves everyday for the rest of their life. 

I had previously pointed out in an earlier blog post that I had found a breast cancer forum very unhelpful and after reflecting upon this, it was because I was virtually surrounded by people zapping my positivity and energy.

http://www.accidentalcreative.com/teams/people-factor/

I am a strong advocate of the Macmillan website and I have since joined the Macmillan Community forums. It has been a positive experience in gaining a wealth of information, where mainly women are coming together to support each other. If you only had one website to access, this would be the one.

I've had the usual uncomfortable dry retching and lack of sleep, hot and cold sweats, stabbing pains to my head and stomach cramps but have breezed through this cycle better than the others. I really can't complain.

I'm still adhering to a good diet, even though it feels like a bit of a struggle, especially when I can imagine the taste of that gherkin pickle in a Mcdonald's cheesburger.... nom nom nom.


Drinking water with slices of lemon (keep a bowl of lemon slices in the fridge)
Drinking shots of wheatgrass when I feel rubbish
Weetabix for breakfast with drizzled honey or 1 banana to 2 eggs pancake mix
Stews (easy - just throw vegetables and stewing steak into slow cooker)
Fresh fruit and veg 
Fruit teas - no caffeine
Popcorn as a snack
Jelly (0% fat trace/8 calories)
Cottage cheese on oatcakes
Rice and Chicken
Natural Yoghurt

Links to check your bits and bobs.
Early detection is the key

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/09/27/tlc-touch-look-check_n_4001415.html

http://www.coppafeel.org/page/boobcheck

http://www.breakthrough.org.uk/about-breast-cancer/touch-look-check

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-information/breast-awareness/being-breast-aware/changes-look-feel

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/types/self_exam/bse_steps



Picture of the day :)

Another brilliant blog post
http://denise4health.wordpress.com/2012/04/11/what-to-say-to-a-cancer-patient-what-not-to-say-to-a-cancer-patient-part-2/

Thanks for reading and any comments welcomed and encouraged 
Anything you'd like to see included?
Tam xx

FEC #3 - We're Cooking on Gas

Catch up from the last 6 days

Monday was a big occasion. I went and found Jim Hawkins from BBC Radio Shropshire as he features a segment in his show where he sits on a bench and randomly talks to people who find him. He posts the location of where he will be sitting and what time on his Twitter feed. I thought he'd be outside the library but I found him inside and completely forgot about being in a public place - I was on a mission.

I wanted to talk to him about early detection, particularly for people under 40 and my treatment plan and that you must be persistent with your GP if you have any concerns about lumps and bumps. It was aired on Friday 17th of January.

I revealed my new 'baldy' look to him and it was the first time I'd been in public since the dramatic hair loss. 

It was emotional ...... my head was revealed TA DA

Jim took photographic evidence and uploaded it to his Twitter account @jimallthetime

http://us4.campaign-archive1.com/?u=f62e5262b6d16e8c404038874&id=64e8c70bf4
(highlight link and right click on your mouse and search with search engine - Go to http://us4.)

As they say in social work

1) Acknowledge
2) Recognise
3) Confront

and Move on AND that's exactly what I did.

I met up with some friends on Thursday evening - happy, bald and comfortable. 

However
I decided to give the wig an outing on Friday night, which would have been alright, except it felt uncomfortable in every way. I ran my fingers through it, I sprayed it with dry shampoo and fiddled and fiddled. I clipped bits up and then took them out. I spent hours trying to make it look as natural as possible. It's slightly Farah Fawcett esque and so quite glamorous for me, so I must have changed my top to go with the wig at least 3 times (absolutely ridiculous if you think about it)

I was hot, it was itchy and it felt like a dead ferret on my head - very self conscious indeed. 

I WILL NOT BE WEARING IT AGAIN!

Someone even questioned to whether I should be drinking at all - advice given -all in moderation - although I did wobble home "my bag". 

Hubster and I went to the Butterfly farm in Stratford upon Avon on Sunday and had a lovely relaxing lunch and walk. I was just the tonic we needed and such a beautiful clear day with blue skies.

Foolery, Sir, does walk about the orb like the sun: It shines everywhere. (Twelfth Night)

So now back to today 23/01/2014

The nurse who administered the FEC today gave me a copy of my bloods. I explained how I had completely changed my diet and she said to continue with what I'm doing,because its working :) My bloods are apparently very good.

Some people lose weight on FEC,some gain weight. From what I have read, FEC is full of steroids, as is the anti sickness medication, so I am happy to be below my starting weight but maintaining it, rather than being a bloater.

The slow cooker is great for stews and the Market Hall in Shrewsbury is such a fantastic place to shop. This week I made homemade hummus and an avocado dip to eat with celery sticks and tortilla wraps with freshly squeezed apple juice. I am following recipes, rather than throwing everything from the fridge into something and hoping it works and even thinking about baking some vegan/gluten free cookies. I have a notebook of recipes to try out and I'm genuinely excited about this. 
The motor on the blender and juicer may burn out soon with all the wear and tear ;)

I have a top up of Senokot (as I never want to experience constipation like before
 ever again)and some eye drops as my eyes are very itchy and watery. 

Love Tam
x